Monday, June 30, 2014

Neglected House

Holly Ghost, Sherman, what have you done? This is a mess. And such a beautiful and sinful house… Shame on you, Sherman. Four years of neglect.

Hell… Hellvira… I… I mean, Elvira. Gosh, you’re right.  How did that happen? It seems like yesterday when I was full of ideas and projects, and… hey, mind where you step!

Damn, Sherman, I almost broke my ankle.  

A shapely ankle I might add. As I was saying… hell… I guess time flies.

Time flies? That’s rich. Is that all you have to say? Can’t you come up with some better excuse? Say, were you in a coma? Were you hit by a hearse while crossing the street at a crossroads in the midnight hour? I bet the few readers you might have had were all thinking you’d croaked. 

Well, you know… I… How shall I say this? I was trying to write a novel. You know. Every blogger wants to be a writer. 

 A novel?! A lousy novel? What a disappointment  Sherman. I thought you had a little more originality in you. Come on. Who needs another novel? The road to Hell is paved with lousy novels. The devil uses them to fire the furnaces. And they don’t even give that much heat, you know? Oh, well. How’s it called? 

Errrr…. I didn’t finish it. It didn’t go beyond a draft…  

…! Sherman, did you made a pact with the devil? Did he promise you eternal life? Eternal youth? He must have, for you to waste all that time on drafts… Say, speaking of drafts, it’s kinda cold in here. Why don’t you light up that book of yours and start cleaning this mess. Maybe you still can do something with your life, yet. And quit staring at my cleavage, you pervert.

I’m sorry, Elvira. Just thinking about what could I post here next.

That’s the spirit. Now, this time, try to keep the house clean and treat your guests as they deserve. You know, they won’t wait for you forever… Writing a novel… Pshush… Another Norman Mailer we need not.

Yeah, you’re right Elvira. I’ll try to do it right this time. There are so many damsels to corrupt, so many bodices to be ripped, so many boobies to…

I’ve already told you to stop staring at my breasts. Now, be a good boy and start cleaning this up. If you behave, I might help you with those spiderwebs.

Gosh, thanks Elvira. That would be really nice.

This Sherman. He’s such an airhead. But deep down inside he’s a really nice guy. So, why don’t you give the guy another chance, eh?

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